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See you in Austin?

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First thing Thursday morning, Mrs. 4Dk and I will be jetting off to Austin for this year's Fantastic Fest, where I will be spreading the gospel of Funky Bollywood and mingling with other world genre cinema obsessives. Of course, we'll also be catching some films. Those we most hotly anticipate are Park Chan-Wook's latest, The Handmaiden, the Thai Krasue comedy The Dwarves Must be Crazy, 1971 exploitation oddity The Zodiac Killer, Korean spy thriller Age of Shadows, and Fraud, a meta-mystery cobbled together from random YouTube clips. Oh, and I am just dying to catch the blisteringly insane Telugu action film Magadheeraon the big screen.

Between screenings I will probably be wandering the Alamo Drafthouse complex in a dazed stupor. If you see me, please grab me and point me in the direction of the bathroom, the snack bar, or the nurse's station as circumstances dictate. Oh, and also say "howdy". I look like one of these three people:






Friday's best pop song ever

I fested. I feasted. I fled.

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So let me tell you about last week, when I made my first ever trip to Fantastic Fest in Austin. Though first I want to thank Kristen, Meredith and Evrim of the FF for making me feel so welcome, because I truly had an awesome time.

Now, I would be remiss in recounting my adventures without mentioning that it was as hot as flaming balls in Austin. It was the kind of heat that hits you like a wall as soon as you step outside, and I have to wonder if it was detrimental to my system to be constantly moving from meat freezer-like interiors to the sweltering outdoors as I was. Anyway, it was all the more incentive to take shelter within the Alamo Drafthouse’s air conditioned theaters.

Our visit started with us being driven into town by the angriest cab driver in Austin, if not the entire world. This was a man who was clearly suffering an existential crisis that could only be relieved by punching someone in the face with one of his gigantic fists—and it took a great deal of verbal ducking and weaving on my part to avoid being that someone. Finally we arrived at our hotel, The Driskill, and things started to improve. Friend of 4DK Carol Borden, upon seeing the accompanying picture, helpfully described our temporary digs as “Not just fancy, but schmancy.” After a shower and a quick dive into the mini-bar we were off to the Drafthouse.

The festival runners spared no expense in decking out the venue for the event, especially with regards to this year’s Bollywood theme. One side of the corridor leading to the theaters was completely plastered with an incredible collection of vintage Bollywood posters. My hands down favorite was this one:


Happily, the Fest was wise enough to use this happy, turban-wearing monkey riding a dog as one of their avatars, and so I was able to acquire it on both a poster and this bitchin’ tee shirt, which I’m wearing as I write this:


The Fest also set up a few elaborate tableaus in honor of certain of the featured films, including this one for The Autopsy of Jane Doe. For some reason, as I looked at it, I couldn’t help being reminded that the hedges back home needed a trim.
 

As Fantastic Fest novices, my wife and I faced a steep learning curve. On that first day, we learned that the festival’s ticketing practices are not entirely couples-friendly. Because of this, the missus and I ended up watching Park Chan Wook’s The Handmaiden simultaneously in separate theaters. As the festival went on, though, we figured out how to work the system and were able to see all our other selected films together, thus saving our marriage.

Of course, my primary reason for being at Fantastic Fest was to flak my book, Funky Bollywood: The Wild World of 1970s Bollywood Action Cinema (now available from all the best online book retailers), and thanks to the above-thanked festival directors, I was able to do a signing event for those people who won the book in the Funky Bollywood Twitter contest sponsored by the festival. That said, I was a little disappointed to see that the festival was not showing any 1970s Indian movies (not surprising, given the scarcity of watchable prints of such films), but I can’t fault their spotlighting the seriously bughouse Telugu actioner Magadheera, from which Die Hard 4 stole one of its most notorious set pieces.


I also managed to catch the live taping of Doug Benson’s Doug Loves Movies podcast, which was brilliant. Benson wisely chose an all-female panel for the show (Bree Essrig, Lisa Delario, and You’re the Worst’s Aya Cash), which provided a welcome respite from all the neck-bearded, board shorts wearing male energy that otherwise permeated the event. Benson is at this best when he belies his stoned demeanor with his wicked quick-wittedness, and this night he was at his best. I’ve often listened to Doug Loves Movies and always find it amusing, but I have never laughed so hard and as continuously as I did during this iteration of it.

And then, of course, I saw some movies, although not as many as I had initially planned to (fortunately, I was able to see The Zodiac Killer, which screened after we left, on YouTube). Of these, I saw three great films: The Handmaiden, Tobias Nölle’s Aloys, and Dean Fleischer-Camp’s Fraud. I also saw The Dwarves Must be Crazy, a recent Thai film in which a village of dwarves fights a gang of Krasue who like to eat ass. Expect a review in the coming days.

Happily, our failure to secure seats for some of the films we wanted us to see allowed us time to explore Austin a little. I was disheartened to learn from one of our cab drivers that the city was going through some of the same hipsters v. techies v. natives drama that we are here in San Francisco. Still, despite the preponderance of topknots, tech start-ups, and douchey bro bars, you could still find evidence that Austin is indeed part of Texas:




I also have to say that I ate quite well during my stay, despite my finicky dietary restrictions and the fact that every restaurant we dined in was called The Something Grill. Austin is truly a land of beer and meat, but if you, like me, refrain from consuming the hooved animals, you need not fear that they will start stuffing pork sausage down your throat the minute you off board the plane. There are hippies here, after all; even the Alamo Drafthouse had better non-beef option than its San Francisco offspring.

And on that topic, I couldn’t resist making some notes of comparison between our local Drafthouse and its granddaddy in Austin, with the caveat that the SF branch, being younger, has had the benefit of learning from its elder’s experience. Here are my rankings.

Location: SF (The New Mission Theater, where the SF Drafthouse resides, was formerly an honest-to-goodness grind house, located in the gritty Mission district. Austin’s Drafthouse is basically in a mall.)

Food: Austin (very tasty, with far more chicken options than the SF Drafthouse, as well as the best chicken burger I’ve ever had – San Francisco take note.)

Service: Tie (both are excellent)

Seating: San Francisco

Audience: Tie (both cater to the most well behaved movie patrons their respective cities have to offer. Congratulations to Tim League and company for achieving the seemingly impossible.)

Random notes:

1. I saw Elijah Wood, who was my lone star-sighting at the festival (unless you count Harry Knowles). I was alerted to his presence by someone (who will remain nameless) tweeting that “Frodo just spilled beer on my wife.”

2. To whoever’s idea it was to screen clips from Magic Lizard before The Dwarves Must Be Crazy: I will have my revenge.

Revenge!

The Dwarves Must Be Crazy, aka Krasue Kreung Khon (Thailand, 2016)

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I watched The Dwarves Must Be Crazy not so much because I wanted to, but because I thought I should—in that, of all the films at Fantastic Fest, it was, to my mind, exactly the type my readers would expect me to review. Did I mention that it is a Thai supernatural comedy about a village of dwarfs at war with a gang of krasue? Given that, you might ask whether I now question some of the life choices that lead me to that decision. And, yeah, maybe I do a little.

The humor in Dwarves is of the slapstick variety, largely deriving from the innate hilarity of little people and the myriad ways in which they can be projected, catapulted and hurled through space—all to the accompaniment of Scooby Doo style sound effects. I have a friend who, during America’s cultural obsession with William Hung, posited that Hung’s popularity was due to him providing people with an opportunity to laugh at someone who acted like a retarded person without them actually laughing at a retarded person. Could a similar kind of sublimation be at work behind someone's desire to see little people gone airborne? Could it be that little people provide a somewhat less morally repugnant substitute (unless you’re a little person, that is) for some less socially acceptable target we would like to see chucked into the atmosphere… like, perhaps, babies? Hey, I’m just putting it out there.


The rest of The Dwarves Must Be Crazy’s humor centers around butts and the many things that can come out of, and be put into, them and their adjacent orifices: farts, sharts, shits, shit eating, piss, piss drinking, bumming, and implied krasue-on-dwarf analingus. Yes, I just wrote “krasue-on-dwarf analingus.” Strap in, people.

For those of you who have thus far been spared knowledge of what a krasue is, a bit of a recap from my review of Ghost of Guts Eater:

“The Krasue, as it's called in Thailand, is a horror found throughout the folklore of Southeast Asia. In Indonesia it's known as the Leak, in Cambodia as the Ap, and, in the Philippines, as Manananggal… For those unfamiliar, it is an airborne head with its complete digestive tract, intestines included, dangling freely beneath it as it sails menacingly through the night sky.”

I’ll add here that my favorite things about the krasue are (1) that it is so different from any creature in the Western horror canon (save for, perhaps, this one) and (2) that it manages to be at once terrifying and absurd.

Everything I know about krasue I learned from movies, and none of them seem to agree on just how a krasue is created. In many films, like Mystics in Bali and Witch With Flying Head, they are the product of a curse, but in Dwarves they are the result of little people eating weird glowing bugs that they find in the jungle.

Before that can happen, however, we have a wistful prologue in which the bucolic daily rhythms of the little people’s floating village are established. These, of course, involve a lot of the aforementioned farting, sharting, shitting, and pissing. I would say that the arrival of the krasue disturb these peaceful rhythms, except it turns out that they also fart a lot (albeit more strategically than the dwarfs do, as when one of the beasts forces a dwarf who is hiding underwater to reveal himself by farting into his snorkel.)

By the way, I think that adding flatulence to the krasue’s defining characteristics is at least medically sound, given they possess all of the equipment to produce gas without any of the musculature to suppress it. Keep this in mind the next time you share an elevator with one.


The fateful bug-eating occurs when a group of bumbling hunters from the village venture into the neighboring jungle in search of food. Because I did not take notes during the screening, I can only tell you that these hunters all have names like Hi Ho, Mi Mi, and Ho Ho. I know that sounds dismissive, but it’s true. Anyway, once several of them eat the bugs and subsequently lose their heads, the hunters flee back to the village with the Krasue literally nipping at their taut little hineys. Now where the Krasues’ predilection for ass play comes from, I don’t know; in most krasue movies, the monsters are presented as being exclusively female, and nourish themselves by sucking fetuses straight from the wombs of expectant mothers. Here, as most of the Krasue are male, I suppose that butt munching may have been deemed more appropriate, which I resent. I mean, I suppose it’s true that some men would rather dine on shit than eat pussy, but it’s far from a universal.

The terrified hunters arrive home to find their tale dismissed by their fellow villagers. Until, of course, the krasues arrive and start chowing down on them. This is followed by a flock of gryphon-like creatures that prey on both the krasue and the villagers. When the flying men fly off with one of the hunter’s girlfriends, the little guys resolve to head back into the jungle to settle matters once and for all. Along the way they enlist the aid of an old hermit who looks like a compacted version of a grey bearded sifu from a Shaw Brothers movie.


Ironically, The Dwarves Must Be Crazy, despite its trashiness, is a very nice looking film. It appears to have been shot entirely on location in the lush jungles and archipelagos of Thailand, which director Bin Banloerit films to stunning advantage. I mean, I don’t know how much it costs to take a bunch of little people, dress them in loincloths and set them loose in the jungle, but I can truly say that that money—save the laundry budget for all those soiled loincloths--is clearly all on the screen. The krasue effects, which combine CG and practical elements, are also quite good, although it has to be said that bad krasue effects are the best.

Another post-production aspect of Dwarves that deserves mention, although not for any positive reason, is its music, which consist of two alternating cues that wear out their welcome in the time it takes for a dwarf to fall off a log. One is a plucky, Loony Tunes style, “mischief is afoot” theme that plays whenever a gag is being set up. The other is a jaunty reggae theme that plays once the gag has putatively paid off. Neither of these cues proved of much use to the audience at the Drafthouse, who greeted most of the film with stony silence.

Ironically, the scene that drew the biggest laughs was a corny musical montage featuring the film’s two little lovers frolicking amongst the flora. Ironic, because, to me, that scene was The Dwarves Must Be Crazy’s most politically correct moment. To me it said that little people, being equal to anyone else, are as deserving as any non-little person of being the subjects of an embarrassingly saccharine rom-com montage accompanied by a cloying pop song. That’s what freedom is all about, baby.

In the restroom after the movie, I overheard some audience members expressing utter bafflement at what they had just seen. This caused me to ponder just how vast the distance between myself and the rest of humanity has become. You see, you’re going to hear a lot of people talk about how “weird” and “WTF” this film is. But to me, it’s just another movie with a bunch of dwarfs farting and peeing on one another. Next!

Fraud (United States, 2016)

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The most interesting thing about Fraud is the number of perspectives you can bring to it. In one sense, it is a movie about editing. During the screening at Fantastic Fest, my wife, overcome by all the jittery first-person camera work, left the theater, and I wondered what I would say if, when she returned, she asked what had happened. Most likely I would have said something like "well, there was some footage of the woman doing something that wasn't quite clear, and then a shot of a computer keyboard burning, and then we were in a car driving down a rainy country road."

You see, while editor-turned-director Dean Fleischer-Camp's intent was to make a narrative feature, it’s difficult, knowing the manner in which he did so, to watch it without seeing it as a collection of unmoored scenes with individual meanings independent of their function within the story. In this way, Fraud itself is a kind of fraud, albeit an ingenious and informative one.

Fraud could also be considered a commentary on the narcissistic, obsessively self-documenting character of our current age, which it is. Its stars are a superficially average--and real--Pennsylvania family whose iPhone movies of their every road trip, day out, play date, restaurant meal, shopping excursion, and family occasion have come to occupy a large chunk of space on YouTube. Fleischer-Camp discovered the family after falling into one of those internet k-holes we're all so familiar with and hit upon the idea of assembling bits of their footage into a fictional narrative. Two years later--and after a lot of meticulous work by a team of editors--Fraud saw completion.

During a post-screening interview, Fleischer-Camp described his nervousness when presenting the finished film to “Gary”, the subject family’s paterfamilias and primary documentarian. The director and his crew had taken a “make it up as we go” approach to the film’s story, and the story that eventually emerged was one of a family who, after an orgy of impulse buying, falls upon financial hard times and, to recoup their losses, commits insurance fraud by burning their house down. The rest of the film chronicles their flight from justice—with rest stops at various chain restaurants and malls, one of which is hosting a grandiose launch event for the iPhone 5.

It would be natural to worry that a family like Gary’s might find such treatment invasive, especially given they had never asked for it. But, according to Fleischer-Camp, Gary loved the completed film. “Well,” observed the interviewer. “He does seem like someone who likes to look at himself.” Fleischer-Camp agreed.

In another sense, Fraud is an examination of the filmmaking process as trickery. There are a number of points at which it’s difficult to tell whether what we are looking at is “real.” For instance, was this family really in trouble financially? In the film, this is communicated with shots of a default notice on a computer screen, accompanied by off-screen voices saying things like “wow” and “oh no.” It’s worthwhile to consider just how easy it would be to manufacture these shots and insert them into the narrative—a practice that would be innocuous with regards to source footage of paid actors, but something else altogether when that footage captures people’s actual lives.

This is important, because, at one point in Fraud, I found myself really not liking this family. That was partly because, within the film, they were being contextualized as symbols of things that I don’t like—mindless consumerism, vapid self-regard, gross eating habits, etc. I also became increasingly annoyed by the father’s need to film—and moreover narrate—absolutely every goddamn thing that his brood either did or spectated. I was particularly bothered by his fixation upon filming his wife’s ass, which, when accompanied by all the product worship on display, just came across as another instance of him showing off one of his attractive possessions. However, looking back on it, there was no clear indication that it was he who was filming these shots, or, for that matter, whether the ass featured in them was his wife’s at all. A later beach scene, in which we see successive butt shots of different women, is of even more dubious provenance.

Suffice it to say that Fraud provides for uneasy viewing. I think it will be hard for anyone with more than a shred of decency to watch it without having the nagging feeling that they shouldn’t be seeing it. Still, it’s my opinion that it is also worthwhile viewing. I know it’s a cliché to say that a film will “make you think about the way you watch movies”, but Fraud not only does that, but also takes a novel and interesting approach to doing it. I also think that it will make you think about the nature of privacy, and how easy it is becoming to surrender it in exchange for the promise of notoriety and an illusory sense of special-ness.

Friday's best pop song ever

Friday's best pop song ever

Pop but not forgotten

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Todd, what's this your mother is telling me about you not posting a link to the last Pop Offensive? That was back in the middle of September, wasn't it?


Gosh, dad, there was just so much going on, what with Fantastic Fest and a new episode of Taiwan Noir coming up. I guess I forgot.

Well, son. What I'm hearing from you now is excuses, but not any suggestion of what you might do to make up for your mistake.


Gee, dad. I guess I got so wrapped up in my own stuff that I forgot to think about anyone else.

Yes you did, Todd. And you're going to be consigned to the deepest pit of hell for that, aren't you?


Yeah, I guess so.

But first, why don't you post the link?


Okay, here it is:

http://www.kgpc969.org/pop-offensive/2016/9/22/episode-29


Splendid.


How about I also post a picture of Donald Trump singing J-Pop?


That's fine, but you're still going to burn in eternal damnation.


That's ok, I guess.


Friday's best pop song ever

Life on Mars

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I'll admit that, in reviewing Mars Men for Teleport City, I had some reservations about returning to the topic of Sompote Sands. He is a filmmaker about whom I've had some mixed feelings, to say the least, and it often pains me to think that my series Thai-Style Kaiju: The Films of Sompote Sands might have contributed in some small way to his current cult notoriety.

It pains me because said notoriety has insured that, no matter how hard I try, I cannot escape Sompote Sands. Case in point: the screening of The Dwarves Must Be Crazyat last month's Fantastic Fest, which was preceded by a lengthy clip from Magic Lizard. Surely that could not have been presented for anyone's enjoyment: It was clearly me that they were after. I envisioned Sands himself, sitting in the projection booth and laughing as I frantically tore at my eyes.

Clearly a reckoning with Sands--as well as a lot of Effexor--was due. And I thought that Mars Men might provide that opportunity. You see, Mars Men is a Taiwanese film that takes a Sompote Sands film, 1974's Giant and Jumbo A, and gives it the Sompote Sands treatment--in that it takes Giant and Jumbo A, recycled footage and all, and recycles it for its own purposes. The result, according to Todd Stadtman of Teleport City is a "daft crazy quilt of a movie" with "an astonishing global reach." To find out what the hell I meant by that, if anything, read the full review here.

Friday's best pop song ever

Podcast on Fire's Taiwan Noir Episode #23: Fantasy of Deer Warrior and Double Vision

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It's hard to imagine Kenny B and I picking two films as different from one another as those we picked for Taiwan Noir #23. The first is the 1961 film Fantasy of Deer Warrior, which I would call a kid's film if not for my fear of some angry parent pounding my face in. Sure, it's got actors cavorting around in silly looking animal costumes and even a couple of songs, and if coupling that with a lot of violence and overt sexuality sits well with--or even entices--you; boy, do I have a film for you!

The second film is Double Vision, a slick serial killer thriller from the early 2000's that pairs Tony Leung with American actor David Morse. Needless to say, the combination makes for a lively discussion. Check it out, won't you?

Friday's best pop song ever

4DK encourages you to vote, and vote responsibly

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Hi, it's Todd. I know you usually come to this blog for thoughtful commentary on weird movies  laced with profanity and dick jokes, and we'll be back to that in a moment. But, right now, I want to talk to you about next week's election.

Now, I don't assume that all of my readers share my (pretty left leaning) politics. But I also don't assume that very many of you are dumb or crazy enough to push the human self destruct button known as Donald Trump. If you are, my condolences--and enjoy the dick jokes.

As for the rest of you: I know that Trump's prospects aren't looking nearly as good as they were a month or so ago, but that's no reason not to vote. In fact, I think it is our patriotic duty to ensure that Trump is not only defeated, but utterly and completely thrashed. Let's make his failure a failure for the ages and, in so doing, put all other aspiring dictators on notice to never, ever try any shit like this ever again.

Ok, thanks for listening. Oh, wait, just one more thing...

Fuck you, Trump!


Now back to business as usual.

Friday's best pop song ever


4DKOMIX

Friday's best pop song ever

Don't Torture a Duckling (Italy, 1972)

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I’m not alone in thinking that Don’t Torture a Duckling is Lucio Fulci’s best film, although I may not be qualified to make that call.

You see, I’ve never been a big fan of Fulci’s movies and, as a result, have seen far from all of them. For one thing, I feel that the mean-spirited and discomfortingly personal nature of the violence in his films is rarely, if ever, supported by the special effects used to represent them. When Fulci goes in for an extreme close-up on one of his signature acts of savagery, what he’s really giving us is a too-close look at the stretching and snapping of latex and the rending and tearing of foam rubber. Although the obsession evident in those sequences is always fascinating, the net effect of them is to make the films surrounding them look a little silly.

Don’t Torture a Duckling, however, goes against the grain of what we’ve come to expect from Fulci in a couple of significant ways. It is by far the most compassionate film of his that I’ve seen, in that Fulci lets down his clinical detachment enough to allow a strain of tragedy to infect the proceedings. At the same time, I’d say that it is also his most feminist film—which is not just my way of saying that it his least misogynist, but that he shows some actual empathy for his female character here, especially the one played (beautifully) by Lizard in a Woman’s Skin’s Florinda Bolkan.


The story takes place in a remote seaside town on Italy’s Northern coast whose people are so provincial in their attitudes that one might think they inhabited a previous century. That is, if not for the modern highway that winds its way through the mountains nearby, which seems to be the town’s only connection to the contemporary world. At the film’s opening, a young boy surveys the empty highway from a cliff overhead and, upon seeing a lone car heading his way, run’s off, excitedly shouting “they’re coming!” to his friends nearby.

What he’s referring to, in this case, is a pair of Rubenesque prostitutes who are making a routine visit to the town. But he might as well be referring to literally everybody, as that is who is about to descend on the town in the aftermath of it being the site of a string of shocking child murders. Among this crowd is Euro-sploitation stalwart Thomas Millian, who this time, rather than playing a somewhat grubby looking villain, is playing our somewhat grubby looking audience surrogate.


Millian is Andrea Martelli, a big city newspaper reporter who is in town to get to the bottom of the murders. In the process, he alternately clashes and cooperates with the town’s police commissioner (Virgilio Gazzolo) and, once the State Police arrive to aid in/take over the investigation, Ugo D’alessio’s Patton-esque Captain Modesti. Needless to say, the townspeople, being a gossipy and untrusting lot, are able to point the authorities toward no small number of suspect outsiders as potential culprits. Giuseppe, the town pervert, is quickly cleared, leaving two local women at the top of the list.

The first of these is Patrizia (Barbara Bouchet); a young woman taking temporary residence in her wealthy father’s abandoned home--a starkly modernist structure lording over the town from an insolent remove on a nearby hilltop. In her personal style, Patrizia seems to be trying to bring her own little corner of Carnaby Street to the town, and the residents reward her with no small amount of resentment and disdain for it. One of them seems to imply that she has brought bad luck to the town, and that “funny things” have been happening since her arrival. The townspeople also seem to judge her for being sexually promiscuous. I cannot argue with that assessment, as, when we met her, she is flaunting her naked body in front of a ten year old boy.


That ten year old boy, Michelle, eventually becomes one of the murder victims, along with two of his friends. Fulci, perhaps satisfied with breaking the taboo of depicting child murder, does not focus on the brutality of the killings—the kids are beaten, strangled, and drowned—but instead ramps up the tension in the stalking scenes. As he's pursued by an unseen assailant through a pitch black forest, the young actor playing Michelle does a superb job of portraying raw panic and sheer, pants-soiling terror. Finally, he takes shelter under a crucifix. Unfortunately, Fulci’s hatred of the church is still in effect here, and he is killed anyway. This murder leads Martelli to the town’s young priest, Don Alberto Avallone (played by the ethereally pretty Marc Porel), who ends up assisting him in his investigation.

The second woman of interest in the investigation is Maciara (Bolkan), a disturbed woman who lives in the mountains on the outskirts of town after being banished for practicing magic. In a flashback, we see her come upon Michelle and three of his friends digging in a place where she has buried the body of her stillborn illegitimate child. In a rage, she puts a curse on them and, upon returning to her stone hut, fashions a wax doll of each boy that she sticks pins into. After each boy’s murder, we see her carefully bury the corresponding doll.


When Maciara is arrested, after being hunted down like an animal by the police and suffering an epileptic seizure, she confesses to the murders, believing it is her magic that has killed the boys. The authorities, knowing better, set her free. Unfortunately, the only thing the townspeople know is that she has been arrested for the killings. And so, shortly after her release, she is cornered by a trio of male vigilantes and beaten to death with clubs and chains.

To me, this last described scene is the centerpiece of Don’t Torture a Duckling for a couple of reasons. If you are someone who comes to Fulci’s movies for the gore, this is the scene you are looking for. But, rather than prurience, what Fulci goes for here is pathos, making it, as a result, agonizing and nearly unbearable to watch. Interestingly, he chooses to score the beginning of the assault to the kind of hard rocking musical track you’d expect in an Argento movie, but, when Maciara starts to go through her death throes, switches abruptly to a mournful ballad (“Quei Giorni Insieme a Te”, or “Those Days Together With You” by Ornella Vanoni). Maciara's death is clearly a martyrdom, both operatic and traumatizing. Once her murderers have left, she uses her last bit of strength to crawl her way to the edge of the highway, where her last breath is witnessed by a family of tourists who speed by without stopping.


This scene, as well as one in which a brutal fight is witnessed through the eyes of a terrified little girl, seems to underscore one of Fulci’s main themes here—that of innocence ruined, not by evil, but by those who see themselves as being in opposition to it. The director also seems set on portraying an old world being rapidly overtaken by a modernity as indifferent to its beliefs and desires as those tourists were to Maciara’s suffering—and the reciprocal hatred and mistrust that breeds (wow, this all seems so familiar somehow…)

While Don’t Torture a Duckling is rich with symbolism, Fulci doesn’t get so caught up in it that he doesn't present a well structured and compelling mystery with a satisfying ending, which he does in spades. Of course, he is aided in this by a terrific cast. In addition to the stellar Florinda Bolkan, there is Irene Papas, who portrays padre avallone’s mother, a woman entrusted with the care of a mentally disabled little girl who holds a key to the murders in the form of a headless Donald Duck doll (hence the title?) Barbara Bouchet, a somewhat cryptic actress, is perfect as Patrizia, a very cryptic character who provides Millian with both a vague love interest and someone to trade expository dialog with. And Millian? Well, as I said, he’s a stalwart, bringing just the right amount of grizzled world weariness to his portrayal of our chain-smoking protagonist.


I think it’s a testament to Don’t Torture a Duckling’s quality that it has inspired me to re-examine the rest of Fulci’s filmography. Where watching a film like The Beyond or New York Ripper is tantamount to staring into a frigid abyss, Duckling is a film that wears its warm, beating and very human heart on its sleeve for all to see. (It was also, tellingly, Fulci’s favorite of all his films.) I’d go beyond that to say that it is not only Fulci’s best film, but also a very good film in its own right, as well as a great film within the giallo genre. Check it out.

Brain loss

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Tars Tarkas and I have been doing the Infernal Brains Podcast for six years now, and have recorded almost 20 episodes. Astonishingly, over that entire time, we've managed to avoid becoming at all proficient at doing it, or acquiring anything even close to an air of professionalism; we always just hoped that our knowledge and enthusiasm would fill the gap. Some of you seem to think they did. Thanks for that.

Anyway, over the past couple of years it's become increasingly hard for Tars and I to find time when we both can put the necessary effort into researching, recording and editing the show. And by that I am not just saying that we are adult men with all kinds of adult shit to do, but moreover that we are infantile men who have wrapped ourselves up in so much other childish nonsense that we have time for little else. If you are someone attentive enough to have noticed that there was a full year break between the last two Infernal Brains episodes, you are probably saying "no duh, guys" right now.

What I'm getting at is that Tars and I have decided to retire the Infernal Brains podcast. This, of course, does not preclude us getting together to do one-off podcasts when we find a topic worthy enough, or re-branding as something like Infernal Brains Turbo 4D: Gothpocalypse! to appeal to that oh-so-important younger demographic. Meanwhile, all of our episodes will remain online until Donald Trump outlaws the internet. In fact, if you need to do some catching up, here's s few of our highlights to get you started

Episode 1: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1

Episode 2: Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2

These inaugural episodes are from back in the days when we were just called the Tars Tarkas 4DK Joint Podcast and recorded our episodes at the kitchen table in my San Francisco apartment. In them you'll hear us provide an exhaustive inventory of virtually every old Taiwanese movie in which a Japanese-style rubber suitmation monster appears. You could say that these episodes set the bar for comprehensive research that came to make later episodes so daunting. You could even say that the seeds of our destruction were sewn from the very beginnings.

Episode 8: Worst podcast ever!

This is the notorious episode in which each of us discuss what we think is the worst film we've ever seen. This sounds like a lighthearted enough concept until you consider the pool of films that we are drawing from.

Episode 11: Diagoro vs. Goliath

A fun episode in which Tars and I examine Toho Studios' turn toward the kiddie market in the early 70s--and in particular a movie in which a chronically constipated baby dinosaur must fight an alien monster to save the Earth. Will Diagoro overcome his fears to defeat Goliath and earn himself the huge, satisfying dump that he so deserves? You'll find the answer here.

Episode 12: Down the Rabbit Hole with Pearl Cheung Ling

Episode 13: Through the Looking Glass with Pearl Cheung Ling

In these two episodes, we join with David Wells of  the sadly defunct Soft Film blog to fill as many holes as we can in what's known about Pearl Cheung Ling, an iconic figure in Taiwanese martial arts cinema around whom much mystery revolves. Thanks in large part to David's meticulous research, we manage to paint a pretty full portrait of this exciting actress, who is also noteworthy for being a rare female director in the male dominated world of Chinese language action movies.

Episode 14: Starman

For many of us of a certain age, the Starman movies--which were edited together for U.S. TV from Shintoho's Super Giant serials--were staples of Saturday afternoon TV in the early 70s. And as fond as our memories of them might be, it's unlikely anyone would ask that someone present a comprehensive history of them--as we, of course, did. I'm especially fond of this episode because it was the first one I edited.

Episode 15: The Secret of Magic Island

This was the first episode we recorded when I returned after a long illness--and it's one of my favorites. Tars and I find our vocabularies and brains taxed while discussing films with all animal casts. And by "animals", I mean actual animals, and not puppets or cartoons. This one's a great example of our ability to mine for ever more obscure sub-genres within the field of world popular cinema.

Episode 17: Space Ladies from Outer Space

One of our best, in which we team up with the Cultural Gutter's Carol Borden to examine the odd preponderance within the science fiction genre of films in which races of evil female aliens attempt to dominate or otherwise sap the Earth's men of their mojo. Films discussed include Cat Women of the Moon, La Nave de Los Monstuous, Missile to the Moon, and the Turkish entry Flying Saucers Over Istanbul, to name just a few.

Episode 18: Cat Beast

It was inevitable that Tars and I would eventually get around to discussing Pakistani exploitation cinema--and what better jumping off point than this monumentally sleazy Pashto language hybrid of Catwoman and The Incredible Hulk? Along the way we discuss other classics of Pakistani trash cinema, from the notorious Haseena Atom Bomb to International Gorillay, an action film in which a band of everyman jihadis fight to bring down the evil mastermind Salman Rushdie.

And that's just a sampling, folks. Be sure to check out the Infernal Brains archives for more discussions of alluring international weirdness, and to pay your respects. Because, like it or hate it,  no one did it quite like the Infernal Brains did--and likely will do again. In closing, I will simply say not  goodbye, but so long.

Wednesday! LEAVE THE PLANET with POP OFFENSIVE!

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I'm sure that, after the events of last week, many of you are contemplating migrating into outer space. Well, this Wednesday, November 16th, Pop Offensive is going to offer you the next best thing: a solid one hour and fifty minutes of songs about space travel, little green men, UFOs, and rocking on the Moon. It's POP OFFENSIVE IN OUTER SPACE, and it launches at 7pm Pacific, streaming live from http://kgpc969.org.

I think it would be expected here to say something like "it will be out of this world!" But I respect you too much for that. It is going to be pretty amazing though, so please listen.
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